How to avoid manipulation by young children (causes, methods of struggle)
It is difficult to imagine that little angels with an innocent look and a sincere soul can be manipulators, seeking from adults what they want, whether it is a bar of welcome chocolate in the store or vice versa unwillingness to do what they are told to do. Very often this behaviour of children leads parents to confusion, and careless step in such a situation causes a big problem. So what mistakes do parents make in cases of manipulation by children, and what methods do exist to combat it?
The first mistake is that parents for a long time do not notice the manipulation of a son or daughter. Frequently a child develops his own technique that allows him to get what he wants. In this situation, it is important to see the regularly repeated "methods" of manipulation on time. For example, it can be tears, dramatics or aggressive behaviour, and even flattery. In such cases, it is necessary to talk directly with the child and find out what he specifically wants and why.
Sometimes it happens that parents themselves provoke children, giving them a bad example. They manipulate their child, trying to get him to obey. Or, on the contrary, they allow children to control themselves just to stop the child from making noise, screaming, crying, feeling aggrieved. In these situations, it is important to remain firm and unwavering, keeping patience so that the child does not feel your weakness, otherwise, in the future, such a practice of manipulation will occur more and more often. And, of course, under any circumstances, it is unacceptable to show aggression. There are situations when a child deliberately makes a parent angry. You should not overdo it with emotions or lack of it if an adult decides to just ignore the child. Such behaviour can be perceived by children as indifference, which worsens and complicates the relationship between relatives.
So, what general advice can be given to the parents of a small beautiful manipulator?
1) Always be sure that you are right. Be patient, neither aggressive nor indifferent.
2) It is important to establish certain limits and boundaries that the child should not cross under any circumstances. It is also important not to forbid him or her everything.
3) Do not forget to show respect for the opinion of the child, at the same time making it clear that YOU make decisions in the family.
4) Recognize the child's right to negative emotions when he does not get what he wants, do not scold him for hysterics, but do not make concessions.
It is possible that it will take an indefinite time to stop the constant manipulation by the child. And only your patience and your love can help you establish an honest and trusting relationship with him or her.
23.06.2019